In Medias Res . . . Again

Total Black: $585.61
Total Red: $228,964.81

[gettin' there.  hold on.]

Money Scripts

Total Black: $685.16
Total Red: $228,657.45

Every so often you stop and take account of the inherent curiosity of life and its serendipitous moments.  It can give you pause and make even the doubting-est Thomas believe that maybe there is some . . . thing . . . else at work behind the scenes.  Call it energy, God, consciousness:  nonetheless it can take you by surprise and slap a smile across your face.  Yesterday reminded me of that.

Lounging Around

Total Black: $681.94
Total Red: $228,415.87

My trip to magical Orlando was a success.  Lounging in the lobby of the hotel as I write this entry.  Meetings have concluded but my flight isn’t until this evening.  I’m leaving with a title and without a tan.  And thankfully I didn’t spend nearly as much as I had feared I would, or would have had to.  Tomorrow it’ll be back to the daily grind.  But that’s ok.  I’m looking forward to it.  Even more so because I learned a new word on this trip that I can’t wait to start using.  And even doing.  What’s the new word?

A Whole New World

Total Black: $681.94
Total Red: $228,415.87

I couldn’t help the Disney dig.  Board meetings all day long.  I also ended up spending more than I expected because of the layout of Orlando.  I had thought I’d be able to walk from my hotel to the area where our meetings are being held.  I didn’t know that the Disney area outside Orlando is a magical land where sidewalks don’t really exist and taxis and shuttles must cart you everywhere.  But despite the added cost, the trip has been worth it.  Both from a mental health perspective and a career one.

Business Travel

Total Black: $681.94
Total Red: $228,429.83

I didn’t sleep last night.  I was up late posting yesterday’s entry as well as packing and getting the apartment ready for this short trip away.  And I was excited about coming to Orlando.  I sprang for a taxi to the airport this morning at 4am because I didn’t want to risk missing my flight if I did take the subway at that late hour.  I ended up missing it anyway because of JetBlue’s current reservations fiasco.  I stood in line for over ninety minutes.  That was my first and last time using JetBlue.  But once I made it past security and to the ticked area, I had an odd flashback to a few years ago when I traveled fairly frequently for business.  I miss it.

Colleague Confusion

Total Black: $750.64
Total Red: $229,126.19

Numerous comments over the past few months have taken me to task for daring to expect something additional from the colleague I’ve worked for since August.  Way back in Hang A Shingle.  So, I thought I’d take the time to lay out some of the back and forth between him and myself.  Might help to make for a clearer picture.  Note that I’ve changed any identifying information as to persons or corporations.

Pushing Back

Total Black: -$66.73
Total Red: $229,112.23

Not much to update today.  Just waiting.  A lot it seems.  Both today and of late. 

More More More

Total Black: -$66.34
Total Red: $229,108.48

All day long a non-existent Lady Gaga tune has been going through my head.  An imaginary earworm, if you will.  In that husky voice of hers, she chants “More More More” and sings about all the people pulling at her.  Since this past weekend, I’ve felt the same.  It started with an email from my sister scolding me for not calling my mother.  Credit card companies won’t let up.  Even commenters are getting a bit demanding.  And now the temp job too.  Can you hear her?  More more more . . . .

Stressed Out

Total Black: $41.89
Total Red: $229,148.69

Over the past few days, I’ve been feeling extremely and unusually stressed out.  Not exactly panicky, but damn near it.  And it’s really over nothing.  Total red creeped up a bit because of finance charges and a few purchases.  It’s only up by about by about $200.  Not unreasonable.  Images come to mind of dough that keeps rising and then needs to be punched back down.  Or whack-a-mole.  Or even a hydra: cut off one head and two more grow back in its place.  I’m working two jobs.  Last week I put in sixty-three hours at the contract attorney position.  Yet it feels like I’m spinning my wheels.  I’m not.  Not really.  The only major drain on incoming finance is my apartment.  And I’ve heard enough from commenters on that one.  So much so that I’m almost beginning to dread going home.  That’s a horrible feeling to dread the only refuge you have.  I’ve been bringing or making my lunch nearly every day this week and last.  Me and Dinty Moore have grown apart.  I’ve been steppin’ out with Hormel.  Add some ketchup, a bit of brown sugar, and nuke it for about three minutes and you’ve got a tasty lunch that fills you for quite a while.  So why am I still so nervous?

Later Night / Early Morning

Total Black: $128.90
Total Red: $228,854,86

As I mentioned in Late Night, my evening didn’t end until after 4 am.  I had intended to show my face at the Drama Queenz party and then call it an early night.  I wanted to use Sunday morning and afternoon to clean up my apartment and to work on the research assignment I took on a few weeks back.  Instead I awoke to an email from another usher asking if I could cover his 11:30 am shift at the theatre.  Mice and men, eh?

Late Night

Total Black: $222.26
Total Red: $228,854.86

Despite this post not appearing on time, this was not another day without a post.  At least not technically speaking.

Survivor Guilt

Total Black : $303.49
Total Red: $228,853.79

I learned yesterday morning that the temp job I’m on will be over on Monday.  But not for me.  The firm has asked me and another person to stay on longer.   The temporary attorney staffing agency called me yesterday morning and informed me.  They also asked me to be discreet and not mention this to anyone else on the project.  The catch: there’s only three of us on the project.  So all day yesterday I had to listen to the other attorney on the project, the third has practically been moved permanently to a conference room in the firm, go on about the “signs” and how it looks like the project might be winding down and how another week on the project would be great.  I had emailed Tom the Temp to ask for his advice.  Nothing back yet.  I wondered whether there were any unspoken temp attorney rules on such matters.  Where does my allegiances lie?  With my employer?  Or with my fellow temps?  Feels like an episode of Survivor.

Wise or Unwise

Total Black: $1,551.96
Total Red: $229,283.54

Whether wise or unwise, I’ve done it: as set out in Resolutions For the New Year, one credit card will be paid off by the end of January.  That leaves me with another to pay off by the end of February and then a student loan by March.  And I can’t wait!  As odd as it may sound, I actually can’t wait to pay bills now.

State of My Union

Total Black: $83.69
Total Red: $229,225.06

I couldn’t help but co-opt the title for today’s entry from the main feature in the American press: President Obama’s first State of the Union address.  This morning as I was in the dentist’s chair, MSNBC turned on in the background, I couldn’t help but notice an odd similarity of mine to President Obama.  Not that I’m in any way comparable to a man of his caliber and accomplishments, but in a small way, I noticed that we share one similarity: seems that nothing either of us do can appease any of our critics.  He’s taken the fall for the bank bailouts, whether a wise move or not, when it was actually President Bush and Congress who approved it.  His efforts on health care were sabotaged, and even though everyone in the country wanted something done to improve the current system, no one will give him credit for getting something done.  Likewise the economy hasn’t recovered as quickly or as fully as we all would have liked; ask anyone and it is single-handedly all his fault.  Every bemoans the Stimulus Plan as having had no effect.  I can personally say that without it, I wouldn’t have been in that dentist’s chair this morning.  It also got me an additional $25 a week in unemployment benefits back when I was still on the dole.  Sadly, that little bit extra did make a difference.  I could go on with additional examples, but the few I’ve cited suffice.  I suppose unless you’ve achieved something just short of herculean or heroic, people will only go on about your short-comings or missteps.  So, how is the state of my union? 

View From the Top

Total Black: $84.21
Total Red: $228,973.35

Last night I paused for a moment at work and snapped a few pictures with my iPhone of the midtown Manhattan skyline.  This is the view outside one of the rooms I was working out of.  Amazing.  And beautiful in a way only modern cities can be.  I have a similar sense of awe anytime I land in Chicago—seeing all the lights spread out in grids for miles.  I recall being humbled and awed when visiting the Sears Tower at night one time.  Every pair of lights moving around the city carried at least one person scurrying to another destination.  So too here.  Many, though certainly not all, of the lights peppering this picture illuminated someone burning the midnight oil.  And it was nearly midnight when I took this.  Just at midnight when I left.  I definitely got in thirteen hours yesterday.  I suspect there will be more nights like this in the days to come.

The Fourth Wall

Total Black: $83.81
Total Red: $228,965.35

I was reviewing Sleep, It Does a Body Good in my mind while walking back from the dry cleaners this morning.  I realized that I had started predicting comments or at least anticipating them within the body of my post before posting it.  I’ve done it a few times now, though mostly in reference to prior comments on prior posts.  I won’t do that again.  I realized I broke the fourth wall.  And generally, I hate it when shows break the fourth wall.

Sleep, It Does a Body Good

Total Black: $83.81
Total Red: $228,965.35

Short post today.  I spent much of the day sleeping.  Over the past seven days I have been working as much as possible at the contract attorney position while also allowing for shifts at the theatre gig some nights.  Yesterday, for example, I worked at the contract attorney position from 8:30am to 9:30am, then left for New World Stages for a 10am shift, then back to the contract attorney position for 1pm until 4:45pm when I returned to the theatre gig for three more shifts until I finished up around 10pm.  By the end of the day, my throat had started feeling a bit sore, so I asked the bartender to whip me up a hot toddy to help numb it.  One of the cocktail servers overheard and asked whether I was still feeling ill.  I wondered what he meant until a bit later when I recalled that last Sunday I also felt ill: sweaty, tired, achy—and I had asked him pick me up some chicken soup from a nearby supermarket when he went out for his lunch.  From last Sunday until today I have only slept about five to six hours of sleep each night.  Not good.  Not getting enough sleep doesn’t let your body recover from any cold or flu you might be fighting off.  I made up for much of my sleep deprivation today—only one shift at the theatre today and it lasted just under two hours.  Thankfully this upcoming week I am only scheduled to work on the weekend at the theatre.

Purpose

Total Black: $83.81
Total Red: $228,811.79

My day started at 7am when I was woken by my mother calling.  I haven’t been able to speak with her much lately because of the hours I’ve been pulling.  I’m also not much of a telephone person these days.  Once you and a friend or family member fall out of touch for a bit, it always seems like it’s going to require a long telephone conversation to catch back up.  So more time passes.  I mentioned this back in Never Been Further Apart.  Perhaps I need to be the one to start telephoning people.  I am good about texting though.  And to that end I created a monster in my mother.  I told her I’d send her a text message when I returned to New York.  She’s the type who invents every scenario of disaster until you’ve informed her you’ve safely arrived.  Well, in turn, my sister taught her how to text message back.  Now she’s enjoying it to the fullest and texting fairly often.  And teaching other older ladies too.  (If your moms all start texting you unexpectedly, it might be all my fault.)

Nose to the Grindstone

Total Black: $83.81
Total Red: $228,872.01

Late post.  Had my nose to the grindstone all day at the contract attorney position and then at the theatre.  Crazy day tomorrow too because I’m scheduled for four shifts at the theatre and I’ll also be working at the contract attorney position before and between those shifts.  But it’s all worth it to keep bringing that debt down.

Mad Men

Total Black: $1416.55
Total Red: $229,633.86

The final comment received last night on Vindication! summed up much of my consternation about the explosion of comments in that post and of late in general.  I’ve said repeatedly that I welcome comments.  In part because they motivate me.  As I write this it’s just before 7 am.  I’m awake, and didn’t hit snooze repeatedly today because the anger coursing through my veins this morning when I woke, and recalled yesterday’s whipping, bolted me out of bed.  I might not get in to the contract attorney for 7 a.m. today, because I’m staying true to my Resolutions For the New Year, but I’ll be in by 8 a.m. for sure.  But beyond some twisted form of masochistic motivation, what’s the function of blogosphere comments?

Vindication!

Total Black: $88.81
Total Red: $229,590.92

Manna from heaven.  Yesterday the clouds parted and down fell some wonderful news.  In threes I might add.  A trifecta of vindication!  Let me explain.

Unclogging My Cash Flow

Total Black: $93.21
Total Red: $229,501.71

I mentioned in plenty of prior posts like Feelings and Finances or Debtor’s Revolt that managing cash flow is really my main problem.  It was never paying my bills.  It certainly wasn’t my earnings; I made enough there, at least a few years back.  But even back when I had a six-figure job, I often went from paycheck to paycheck each week without much in cash.  Thanks to a lesson learned in Waiting For the Guilt To Subside, I avoid doing that any longer.  This week, however, I fell of the wagon a bit.  I admit it.

No More Piggy

Total Black: $121.21
Total Red: $229,479.20

I’m late posting today because I had to leave fairly early this morning to ensure I got in sufficient hours at the contract attorney position today.  I worked from 8:30 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. for a total of twelve hours.  I took off ninety minutes during the afternoon when I stepped out for my final doctor’s office visit.  Today was the last day for the medical experiment.  No more guinea pig here!

Times of Tragedy

Total Black: $66.95
Total Red: $229,387.70

Everywhere I’ve gone these past few days Haiti and the recent earthquake there have prevailed.  Meetup.com is encouraging organizers to use their meetup groups as vehicles for donation.  Facebook friends post copious comments about relief efforts.  Of course, Anderson Cooper and Dr. Sanjay Gupta are single-handedly rescuing thousands by the hour.  The tragedy has even brought former political opponents together.  Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush have teamed up, part of the Clinton Bush Haiti Fund, to help raise money and aid for Haiti relief efforts.  Once I get paid, I’ll donate something to their efforts.  Personally, I approve wholeheartedly of former presidents staying involved in politics.  John Quincy Adams and William Howard Taft would be two I can think of who remained active after their presidencies: Adams as a Congressman from his home state and Taft as the Chief Justice of the United States.  The tragedy in Haiti even got a guy from the theatre gig to donate 20% of the profits from a production of Much Ado About Nothing he’s putting on at New World Stages.  I’m surprised that I haven’t been hit up yet by some of the dating sites I’m on: hump your way to helping Haiti.

Defeat the Debt

Total Black: $66.95
Total Red: $229,387.70

As I was walking to the contract attorney position this morning, I saw an awesome billboard in Times Square: Uncle Sam, broke and penniless, begging for $12 Trillion dollars.  Defeat the Debt.com posted the ad.  I definitely feel where they’re coming from.  As a nation we have a debt problem.  But more so I think we have a shame problem.  We don’t talk about our debt.  And everyone else is in perfect, pristine financial health.  They’ve never paid a bill late, never bounced a check or overdrew their accounts, and they’ve got a whole year’s worth of savings stocked away in the bank.  If only that were true, eh?