Confessions of a Laid-off Lawyer

Just Your Average Joe Blogging Away His Debt—In One Year or Less

Just Another Day

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Total Black: $233.98
Total Red: $228,020.61

Racing against the clock again.  Not a good day today.  Not sure why either.  Just feeling down.  Drained.  Maybe I’ll discover my male “menstrual cycle” if I indicate down days in these blogs.  A pattern might emerge.  Updates on the money-raising front: the Quasi-Roommate might stop by tomorrow to check out the apartment and discuss the possible two-night arrangement I discussed in a previous entry.  No confirmation on that yet though.  I did get confirmation earlier today though for participating in a Wall Street Journal marketing survey group.  About a week ago I received a pretty random email inviting me to participate in a research focus group, and in return for two hours of time, participants get $200 in cash.  Umm…yeah…I said “sign me up.”  That’s a one-off source (at least for now—the marketing representative said they’d put me in the system for any additional groups I match).

Monthly payment to the IRS was due yesterday.  Don’t have the money or credit to make the payment.  The number of calls from credit card companies increased today.  Still working on those tasks for my colleague.  Difficulty with working for people you’re friendly with is broaching the subject of payment.  It was the last topic we discussed and we didn’t discuss when he would pay me. Getting really worried about this month’s finances.  Rent is $2,000 / month.  It’s a lot, but not for Manhattan.  Obviously the number above show that I can’t pay the rent yet.  But I still have until the 1st of the month.  Despite all that, I read somewhere that thinking positive takes effort.  It’s not something that just happens, but is, instead, a practice or mind-set.   So this blog (and your comments) helps keep that at the forefront of my thoughts.

I watched an episode of the Twilight Zone last night.  The episode was “I Dream of Genie.”  No connection to the 1960s television show, but I did have to wonder.  The storyline focused on this ho-hum employee at an accounting firm in Manhattan who didn’t command presence.  He was cajoled into purchasing a gift he hadn’t wanted.  His office mates didn’t respect his personal space.  The secretary didn’t really notice him.  Sort of typical for Twilight Zone episodes: he liked the secretary and had bought the gift for her birthday.  He chickened out and didn’t give her the gift: an “antique” lamp.  Of course, he took it home, rubbed it, and out came…the Genie.  But he only gave one wish.  So, the guy spent the remainder of the episode fantasizing about making the secretary a famous actress and himself her husband, then about making himself extremely wealthy, and then about having power—being president of the United States.  Each daydream convinced him of the perils of wishing for those things.  I thought he was going to wish for self-confidence.  It’s lack was apparent in every scene.  But he didn’t.  I won’t tell you what he did wish for.  Won’t spoil it for you.

Found a few too many similarities with myself—or at least how I think that I come across.  And if you think it, you probably project it.  So it’s time to start rethinking and re-projecting, if you will.  If yesterday I noted that I need a dash more New York greediness, then perhaps today’s lesson is that I need a bit more New York cocksureness.  Good enough place to end it.  Only two minutes until tomorrow.

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