Confessions of a Laid-off Lawyer

Just Your Average Joe Blogging Away His Debt—In One Year or Less

B(l)ack in the Red Again

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Total Black: -$24.67
Total Red: $230,649.18

It was deja vu all over again today as I stood in CVS this afternoon, looking to buy food with the few dollars I had available. I have to confess—that is the point of this blog after all, isn’t it?—that I pulled from my blog PayPal account the money I received from my first (and only) donation. About two weeks ago, I purchased a flash drive to use for the Recession Art Sale. No one had one and we needed to get images over to my computer so I could get our catalog in order. The image files of the artwork were too large to send via email. I had no other money available and we were a day away from our Monday night opening. So, I caved and transferred the $48.25 (what remained after PayPal took its cut from the $50 donation I received) into my personal PayPal account and used that money to purchase the flash drive. But since my personal PayPal account is linked with a PayPal charge card, I’ve been using that card (and the money attached) over the past few days to buy food, something I swore I wouldn’t do. Sorry. I haven’t owned up to it yet because I’ve been embarrassed that I caved. I supposed I could have waited a day or two, or perhaps I could have walked back to my apartment to pick up some rewritable DVDs and burned the image files to those. But, in the moment, I didn’t think of that.

If I didn’t have that money to pull on though, I and the cats would have gone without over these past few days. Tomorrow I get paid and the $48.25 will be promptly returned.

This morning I had another minor breakthrough. I stopped in the Dunkin’ Donuts near my apartment, fully prepared to use my remaining two dollars on a coffee. I’m getting paid tomorrow after all, right? There I was, standing in line, when about thirty seconds in I realized how silly it would be to buy coffee when the temp job provides good coffee for free. So, I turned around, walked out, and kept going. That’s never happened before. And it was a good thing too because once again today, just like in Change to Spare?, I stood in a drug store, wondering what I could purchase with the approximately $2.50 I had remaining on that PayPal charge card. I opted for Spaghetti-Os (with meatballs). When everyone at the temp job asked why I was eating a can of Spaghetti-Os for lunch (my only meal of the day because I didn’t have time to make toast in the morning—I was too tired to wake up in time to eat), I told all but the Woman Who Sits Next To Me that her navy bean soup the day before looked like Spaghetti-Os and had got me thinking about it.  Not entirely false; not entirely truthful.

It seems that once again my checking account is in the red again. My private student loan payment hit my account today. It’s the same payment that in What is This, Sarcasm? brought me into the red, resulting in multiple insufficient funds fees. This time, it’ll only result in one fee. Pay from the contract attorney position will post by the morning. Even still, it’s very disheartening to be working overtime and reduced to the $1.99 can of Spaghetti-Os for lunch. Looking at the calendar I see that the tenth, which will be the day of my third accounting, isn’t that far off, and will occur after my second paycheck. Even though September’s rent hasn’t been paid yet and October’s rent is late because it’s due today, I insist on having some progress to report by then. Whatever it takes. Fingers remain crossed.

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