Confessions of a Laid-off Lawyer

Just Your Average Joe Blogging Away His Debt—In One Year or Less

Eyes on the Prize

with one comment

Total Black: $3,921.09
Total Red: $230,663.35

I had another interview with a temporary attorney staffing agency today.  That’s makes four interviews this week and five in the past seven days.  A lot of smiling faces and hopeful talk, but so far nothing’s materialized into a job.  But that’s clearly the wrong approach to take.

I’m remembering that in my initial entry, In Medias Res, I mentioned how The Secret by Rhonda Byrne informed at least the backdrop to this project of getting out of debt in a year.  I’m feeling like I’ve strayed a bit too far from keeping focused on the bigger picture and have stopped visualizing myself out of debt.  It feels as if darkness is swarming and storm clouds are closing in.  Actually, since my drunken debacle in A Day Without a Post, my mood has been horrible.  Yesterday was visit six for the medical experiment and also the midway evaluation point when the doctor had to decide whether to keep you at the dosages you were on or increase them.  I came clean in A Time For Everything that this medical experiment is to test drugs for depression.   Well, it was touch-and-go for a bit there whether the doctor was going to up the meds.  My mood is still out of whack after all the alcohol I drank this weekend.  Well, maybe that and being unemployed again, having an eviction process started against me, having to relive the bedbug business from this time last year, needing to borrow money from my mother for rent again, and seeing all the other debts once again going unpaid.  So . . . yeah . . . perhaps there’s a few reasons why my mood is out of whack of late.

But the point here that I wanted to make is that I needn’t sit back and merely be acted upon by outside forces.  I can take steps to keep focused on the goal and to help keep my mood in check.  I’m not talking about some asinine attempt to just not worry and be happy.  Instead I mean that there are direct causal elements that I can control those.  Diet, for example.  I can’t count the number of late evenings I’ve spent munching potato chips on the couch while watching television.  I admit, I’ve got a thing for the salty foods.  And yet the fresh vegetables in the refrigerator just sit there, getting older.  Exercise is another example.  My excuse is that I can’t afford my gym membership fee right now, but that’s clearly a cop-out.  Talking a long walk or going for a jog  doesn’t cost anything.  Sleep is yet a third example of a way to influence mood and overall mental health.  Not getting enough sleep—or even getting too much—can disrupt mood.  Those three alone can affect mood and outlook.

I’ve also noticed that even having a clean apartment can make a difference in mood and outlook.  Earlier this week I started cleaning.  Interviews and then other events interrupted that, however.  I had needed to do laundry and clean-up generally because the contract attorney position that ended last week pretty much prevented me from getting to it, but I guess it was reliving last year’s bedbug fiasco and just thinking in general about possibly having to put that case before the courts that got to me subconsciously and got me wanting to scour my apartment.  But that aside though, I’ve noticed generally that when things at home slowly start to slip into disarray, as entropy and cosmic forces dictate, then taking time to sort through bills, receipts, and other papers, organize things, file things, and otherwise just clean up, all combines to help you feel a lot better about your environment.  I mean, if your life is a mess, your finances are a mess, and your home is a mess, getting one of those cleaned up can have a spill-over affect, even a slight one.

So, tomorrow, after filing my answer in the Landlord v. Laid-Off Lawyer lawsuit, I’m going to head back to my apartment and resume my scouring.  That’ll help realign my mood, especially since you can see a direct correlation between your efforts and the result.  Maybe while doing that I throw some uplifting music on.  I need to refocus on envisioning myself out of debt and on the road to debt freedom.  Justified or not, letting my eyes wander off the prize just isn’t acceptable.  And just sitting back and wallowing or moping clearly won’t help anything.  In Positive Thinking I observed that effort and self-discipline are required to keep a positive outlook.  Guess it’s time to take some of my own medicine.

Written by Laid-off Lawyer

October 29, 2009 at 23:05

One Response

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  1. OK, I’m all caught up. And you mentioned me – on my way to fame and fortune in the new media world

    Larry E

    October 30, 2009 at 13:33


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