Confessions of a Laid-off Lawyer

Just Your Average Joe Blogging Away His Debt—In One Year or Less

The Sound of Silence

with 6 comments

Total Black: $2,051.97
Total Red: $230,820.71

I noticed the other day that I was feeling a bit lonely.  I supposed it was just a touch of the post-holiday blues.  That wasted feeling after a burst of built-up of excitement and anticipation is released.  Turkey gobbled-up in under an hour even though it took nearly six to cook.  Stuffing stuffed down your throat.  This Thanksgiving I enjoyed anything but relaxation and comfort, so I figured that perhaps my inability to relax over the long holiday had something to do with my feeling a bit down.

But then I realized that I wasn’t exactly feeling down, but rather . . . how to explain it? . . . I was feeling the absence of something.  It was only late this evening that I realized what it was.  The telephone ringing.  As crazy as that sounds, I guess I’d gotten used to being awoken in the early hours of the morning by the telephone ringing.  I paid SallieMae over the long weekend, and now that, that dirty whore got her money, she left me to my cold and empty sheets.  No more morning calls.  No more wake-up service.  No more “one-more-try” before bedtime.  No one was ringing my telephone off the hook.  And I was missing it.  That startled feeling when the telephone rings was gone, and with it went the anticipation that it might actually be a friend calling—only to discover that it was just ol’ Sallie again.  See, Sallie has a few friends who call from different numbers.  Neither SallieMae nor her friends ever show on caller ID, however.  Just a random toll-free number.  But I wised up to her ways a while ago and learned her numbers.  And those of her friends too.  So I’d let them wake me in the morning.  And I’d tease them in the evenings, picking up the telephone and then hanging up when it took too long to route me from their automatic recording to an operator.  Sometimes I’d even stop the answering machine in the middle of the automated recording’s message.

But now I had nothing to do but sit by the telephone.  Cue lights.  Camera.  (Feel free to sing along.)

Since You’ve Gone by Belinda Carlisle

Since you’ve gone,
Nothing really matters,
All I do is hang out with my pillow.
I wait,
In anticipation for your call,
That never comes.

Since you’ve gone,
Don’t care about tomorrow.
Since you’ve gone,
My heart’s barely beating.
I wait in anticipation for your touch.
It never comes.

Another wild Friday night and I’m waiting here for you.
My head stays stay home and die,
But my heart says break on through.

There were times when you really loved me,
Oh!  The times . . . we would run together,
To the heart, the heart of the city,
Dreams that filled the night.

Another wild Friday night,
And I’m waiting here for you.
My head says stay home and die
But my heart says break on through.

I ought to get into my car,
Hit that pedal hard.
I’ll drive until I find my way,
Since you’ve gone away.

Since you’ve gone,
Nothing really matters,
All I do is hang out with my pillow.

Sallie won’t be back around for at least another sixty days.  Luckily I only had to endure a few days of this dark despair.  Now I have Raymour & Flanigan to take Sallie’s place.  They don’t have the stamina of Sallie, but regardless, two is better than one.

Written by Laid-off Lawyer

December 4, 2009 at 23:57

6 Responses

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  1. Why don’t you move to Canada? Getting up from under your $230k debt is not gonna happen otherwise; but it seems that somehow you take perverse pleasure in your predicament. Maybe a masochistic tendency?


    December 11, 2009 at 16:56

  2. Wait? How did I miss this? Another person with the same advice? Run away from my problems and responsibilities? Or was this just the same person from last time around, attempting to bait me?

    Laid-off Lawyer

    April 29, 2010 at 20:07

  3. No, I think I mentioned the possibility of moving overseas earlier.

    I still think it is something you have to keep in the back of your mind if you find yourself in the same (or worse) situation 5 or 10 years from now.

    Is it ideal…no, but at some point you might have to decide whether or not a life under crippling debt is the way you want to spend the next 40-50 years.



    April 30, 2010 at 11:00

  4. No, no, no . . . it wasn’t you. Unless you were acting like Minnesota Man and using alternate personas. This was a long back-and-forth with someone about moving specifically to Canada.

    Laid-off Lawyer

    April 30, 2010 at 14:03

  5. Oh-no, I haven’t been using alternative personas, and I don’t think I mentioned Canada.

    I think I referenced that you might have enjoyed one of the places you’ve spent some time in during your prior world travels and maybe someday you’d want to “escape” back there.

    I don’t suppose you’re ever going to let us know what city you’re moving to, huh? I guess that could potentially lead someone to identifying you.

    Just curious as to how big of a change it will be from NYC… for example, if it were to Chicago maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, but if it is Billings, Montana, probably some serious culture shock coming!



    April 30, 2010 at 16:45

  6. Fishing, huh? I’ll reveal my new locale eventually. I had thought about doing it on May 10th or 11th when I have to post from my new location because I’ll be checking out apartments there.

    You all will just have to sit tight!

    Laid-off Lawyer

    April 30, 2010 at 16:55

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