Confessions of a Laid-off Lawyer

Just Your Average Joe Blogging Away His Debt—In One Year or Less


with one comment

Total Black: $575.21
Total Red: $229,755.52

Today I had one of those classic moments that only television can truly capture.  And all I could do was toss my head back and laugh out loud.  Otherwise, I would have screamed instead. 

I arrived at the temporary attorney staffing agency at 7:15am this morning.  I left just before 1am the night before.  On Friday I was asked to take a partner’s binder with documents relevant to the case I’m working on and supplement it with specific pages from witness interviews where the witness discussed a transaction.  First you have to scan for references to all transactions.  Let’s say that Burger King is referenced on pages 2, 5, and 10.  I’d have to photocopy the cover page—so one would know from whence came those pages—and then also copy pages 2, 5, and 10.  But page 2 might also reference Wendy’s and Subway while page 5 referenced only Burger King and page 10 cited seven other transactions.  Each page had to be photocopied per the number of times a transaction was referenced; then those pages needed to be collated and inserted into the binder behind with other documents related that same transaction.  I had about six documents to review for two witnesses.  And you also must to pull the documents shown to the witness in the interview and include copies of those.  And since we’re already in trial mode, we have use the version with the exhibit tags included, which requires first pulling up the document on the doc review system, then finding it on the exhibit list and making sure its the same document.  If you’re lucky, it is and you print it.  If not, you’ve got to searching the exhibit lists for a duplicate version.

It’s a lot of photocopying, coordination, and assembly.  And it’s very time-consuming.  And it took me until about 2pm today.  From Friday.  What had been one binder was busting out of two by the time I finished.  Then I had to photocopy the finished product so that we had a master set.  Of course, that too wasn’t simple because tabs don’t really slip through the feeding tray on the photocopier too well.  Every time I’m at the photocopier for an extended period images of Jane Fonda in “Nine-to-Five” flash to mind: that scene where she can’t control the machine and paper starts flying everywhere.  Sometimes I feel like that character.  By the time I finished, the completed set looked about as thick as this photo.

So, I drop off my finished product and sit back, happy that another document dragon has been slayed and put to rest.

Until 5pm rolls around.  And I receive an email from the paralegal informing me the partner wants the binder back the way it was when he turned it over.  Basically—rewind the clock and undo the past four days.  About seventeen hours of work.

As soon as I read that email I just burst out laughing.  This loud cackle.  The office manager turned in my direction, unsure what was happening.  And I laughed, and laughed, and laughed.  The irony was that it would only take about 30 minutes to undo four days of work.

I stopped by the firm and arrived to see the paralegal on all fours on the floor, piecing the binders back together.  I couldn’t help but smirk.  And I tried to stifle my laughter.  But she saw it and we exchanged that look that only two people engaged in utterly pointless tasks can share.  She realized it would be easier if I undid it myself since I knew the arrangement I used to put it together, so I took the binders off her hands and rewound time.

You just can’t make this stuff up.  Ah life . . .

Written by Laid-off Lawyer

April 5, 2010 at 23:46

One Response

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Wassup, wassup. I think you are enjoying the weather. Good fer you – at least it’s FREEEEEEEE.


    April 6, 2010 at 22:08

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: