Confessions of a Laid-off Lawyer

Just Your Average Joe Blogging Away His Debt—In One Year or Less

On My Way

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Total Black: $981.28
Total Red: $235,259.75

Surprisingly, today was a relatively quiet day on the work-fronts.  Four hours at the contract attorney position in the afternoon, followed by two shifts at the theatre gig: ImaginOcean and Naked Boys Singing.  I hadn’t worked ImaginOcean since back in Overactive Imagination, over a month ago.  And, once again, quite surprisingly, it unexpectedly moved me.

As I observed in Overactive Imagination, the show is fantastic: visually enchanting, the music is surprisingly engaging, even touching . . . for adults too—well, at least those of us who still have a kid’s heart.  Soon after the show begins, the main characters, Dorsal, Tank, and Bubbles, find a treasure map and set out on an adventure to find whatever’s been buried.  And since the show is tailored for children, it is, of course, rife with lesson-learning tunes and other didactic doo-wops.  But sometimes adults need to hear those riffs too.  And today this adult did.  Two songs actually touched me: ‘On Our Way” and “Which Way To Turn.”

The first song, On Our Way, bookends the show, playing pretty much at the outset when the main characters swim off on their treasure hunt and then reoccurrs at the end once they’ve found what laid in store for them.  One of the lyrics: “On our way, we’re on our way.  To see what we can see.  In the deep blue sea.”  I couldn’t help but think of my own adventure awaiting me in two week’s time—off on an island in the deep blue sea.  And I am pretty much on my way.

Tonight after Naked Boys I packed a few boxes.  I first had to resist the urge to go out, make a few more memories, deepen ties with those I’ll soon be leaving.  It’s an odd feeling—moving.  The English language doesn’t have a word for it really.  What single word encompasses the sadness of an ending, the anxiety of change, the excitement of something new . . . and the headache of making it all happen.  Ah, and the impatience of having to watch the remaining hours tick down.  What word encapsulate that mixed bag of emotions.  That hodgepodge probably got to me more today when “Which Way to Turn” began to play.

About mid-way through the show, the fish reach an impasse: they’ve passed the first hurdle, but are now unsure which way to go next to continue along the treasure map.  But the lyrics are slight more prescient for a song about asking for directions.  “‘Cause there are times that you can’t see all that life has to show.  Each path that you take may show you things that you don’t know.  Don’t try to hold on to things that you may outgrow.  You may try to hold on when you have to let go.”  Then the refrain repeats, asking which way to turn.  It’s answered by the unseen singer advising of “an ocean of choices that we all have to make.  Each choice teaches something, even if a mistake.  Each choice leaves a ripple as you swim through its wake.  There’s no need to give up when there’s so much at stake.”

Certainly the lyrics work best with the music.  The cast album will be available for purchase in July.  Perhaps I’ll update this post later this summer to upload the actual songs.  Snippets of the show are on the net—on and elsewhere.  If you’re in New York, I recommend it—whatever your age.

Both songs today struck chords in me.  I’m certainly on my way but I’m also a bit adrift wondering which way to turn.  I’ll be working for a year as a clerk on an island in the Caribbean.  But what else?  And what of this blog?  Will I have time to post?  Access to the internet?  Can I find a “by night” out there?  Every choice that we make teaches something, as the song says, even if it turns out to be a mistake.  And we can’t stop from swimming through the wake of mistake.

I’m hopeful that I’m on my way to a new adventure.  A good one.  But I’m still looking back over my shoulder a bit, wondering what I’m leaving behind.  Childish, perhaps.  But I am feeling a bit lost at sea at the moment.  I hate this “moving” feeling.

Written by Laid-off Lawyer

May 15, 2010 at 23:07

One Response

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  1. I came across your blog. Sorry guy, been there and I see the new lawyers are going through much worse with the debt they carry.


    May 16, 2010 at 10:15

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