Confessions of a Laid-off Lawyer

Just Your Average Joe Blogging Away His Debt—In One Year or Less

Ain’t Missin’ You At All

with 3 comments

Total Black: $3,253.08
Total Red: $270,855.95

Yesterday Officemate asked whether I missed New York.  I laughed and paused for a moment to scan my feelings and consider the question.  The answer: not really.  Sorry New York, I ain’t missin’ you at all. 

This past Thursday I called one of the other law clerks and said that I wanted to go out for drinks.  I had just gotten paid so I, of course, wanted to imbibe a bit and relax.  Somehow we ended up on her couch with her boyfriend cooking for us.  Not exactly what I had planned but a nice enough start to the evening.  While there I received a text from Daughter and her boyfriend.  A new restaurant and bar opened about three minutes from my apartment (they’re staying with Lord & Lady still); they asked if I wanted to meet them there.  I said that I couldn’t because I was with the other law clerk.  Two hours later I texted Daughter on my drive back to find out if they were still there.  They were.  So I stopped by as well.  Had a few beers and a great dinner.  Then drove the three minutes back up the hill to my apartment.

On Friday I telephoned my mother to let her know I got paid—and also to check whether she needed me to send any of my paycheck just yet.  She said not yet.  She was a bit peeved that I hadn’t called the day prior to let her know I got paid.  But she relaxed once I explained the course of my Thursday: check arrived around noon, about three hours in two banks cashing the check and then setting up an account, back to work for a few before food and drinks with Other Law Clerk (best I can think of at the moment for a name) and then more food and drinks with Daughter and her boyfriend.  My mother then commented that she’s happy I’m doing well here and observed that I’ve socialized more in the month or so that I’ve been here than I did in New York.

Interesting point.  And even more interesting given that Officemate had asked a few hours earlier whether I missed New York.

Honestly I thought I would.  And to be even more honest, as I drove home after work on Friday, windows down, a warm breeze whizzing through the car, Lady Gaga blasting on the radio (it was actually an NPR segment), I did have a tinge of nostalgia.  The breeze whizzing through the car wasn’t from the Hudson and I wasn’t heading to some fancy club.  I was going back to my apartment to change into the island uniform: shorts and a t-shirt, and then drive down the road to that same watering hole as the night prior.  I was meeting up with Neighbor Clerk—another law clerk, this one from Baltimore who had just started about a month before me and is co-clerk to Other Law Clerk.  Not the same as New York.  But New York is New York, of course, and there’s nothing else like it.  You never feel cooler or more chic than when in Manhattan, well dressed, sippin’ a cocktail in some snazzy bar, a rooftop one all the better.

But New York is tough too.  Perhaps it’s all the millions of people around that trick you into feeling like you’re not alone.  And if you’re not alone, you don’t have to make time to be with others.  We work with others.  We pass thousands of others on the street or in the subways.  So much so that we wish they could just disappear, if only for a second.  Solitude!  But many people in New York forget to take time to get to know each other.  And what time they do take is often disjointed: an hour or two at a club one night; then a few hours months later at someone’s birthday party perhaps; maybe a coffee in Midtown for a half-hour.  In the four years I lived in New York I think I had six guests visit me in two different apartments: only two of whom lived in New York.  The other four stayed with me during visits to the city.

I don’t mean to disparage the city or its people.  Hell I was one of ’em just six weeks ago.  Just that there’s something about New York that I can’t put my finger on that causes the people there to live apart from one another.  Maybe it’s because they’re packed on top of each other.  Literally.  Or maybe it’s just me.  When I arrived in New York I had at least a handful of friends there.  By the time I left I had none.  Most had moved on.  Some I just lost touch with over the four years.  Hard to call someone a “friend” when you don’t see each other, don’t email, and don’t talk on the phone.  And I suppose I should also add don’t text.  If that’s a friend, then I have millions.

Glad I’m down here.  Not sure how long Life will keep me here but I’m glad it whisked me out of New York.  That city was wearing me down.  Funny though that it was only in the last few months of my stint there that I started to make friends and get out.  Odd that Life picked that moment to pluck me out and plop me here.

Written by Laid-off Lawyer

July 17, 2010 at 21:36

3 Responses

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  1. New York is impersonal; it allows someone to connect anonymously then disappear and disconnect. Relationships are less important when they are changed easily and without consequence.

    set me up

    July 18, 2010 at 10:13

  2. I was just checking back with your blog. Yep, you still owe a boatload. Life is finite. I’m still offering the unsolicited advice about debtors anonymous; they have online and phone meetings.

    Are you going to quietly disappear the “Countdown to 8/9/2010” ticker under the picture?

    All the best.


    July 19, 2010 at 09:11

  3. Personally, I think the whole ‘get counseling/support group for your issue’ angle sucks.
    The dude has been unemployed and Rome wasn’t built in a day…give him time, he seems to be working on it.


    July 19, 2010 at 22:40

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