To Confess or Not to Confess

Total Black: $2,452.95
Total Red: $231,191.81

I arrived back in Scranton just after four o’clock.  My sister had sent me a text message at 1 p.m., while I was still in New York, telling me that my mother wanted her car back by 4 p.m.  It takes about two hours or so to drive from New York to Scranton.  Her abrupt text left me just barely enough time.  So, I grabbed a big bag of laundry, hopped in the car, and drove west.  Somewhere in the middle of New Jersey a flash of white heat overtook me when I realized that I had forgotten the paperwork that I had driven all the way out there to retrieve.  I actually found myself in a cold sweat.  I don’t think that has ever happened to me before.  And frankly it’s all because of my sister.  Or I suppose I should say because of the power I give her over me.

Giving Thanks

Total Black: $94.05
Total Red: $231,341.81

My mother, sister, and I are all watching “Only the Lonely.”  I referenced that movie in Never Been Further Apart because the scene where the son, played by John Candy, is arguing with his mother Rose, played by Maureen O’Hara, left an impression on me.  It finally made it’s way up the Netflix queue and I decided to bring it home with me for the holiday.  That scene still affects me, and even the entire film itself somewhat, because it speaks volumes to all the different ways people live with loneliness.  Even though we’re rarely alone.

Bus Tickets and Cell Phones

Total Black: $97.22
Total Red: $231,308.15

As I suspected in Paycheck to Paycheck, this week’s pay from the temporary attorney staffing agency didn’t post today even though they had told me it would.  This agency pays on Thursdays.  I did receive the paystub in the mail today though.  At least I know how much to expect in my account.  I trust it will post by morning.

Paycheck to Paycheck

Total Black: $64.64
Total Red: $231,308.15

Tomorrow should be payday.  We get paid on Thursdays normally, but with Thursday being Thanksgiving, paychecks should be processed tomorrow.  If they aren’t, I’ll be spending Thanksgiving alone in New York with my cats because I don’t have the cash, and certainly not the credit, for a bus ticket back to Scranton.  I checked with the temp agency and they said we’d be paid tomorrow, so I suppose I’m exaggerating a bit.  Plus, even if my paycheck doesn’t post by tomorrow morning, I’m sure it will make its way to my account by Thursday morning.  Thankfully, computer automation doesn’t take days off.

Positive Thinking

Total Black: $524.93
Total Red: $228,517.33

I spoke with my mother tonight.  She wanted to know whether I’ve decided anything yet regarding the rapidly-approaching October deadline when my lease ends.  I hinted in a prior post, Mothers, that I might have to return home and move back in with my mother if something doesn’t come through soon here in Manhattan.  It would be ruinous to renew my lease at $2,000 / month and invite potential liability particularly without a secured source of income.  But it also seems potentially disastrous to return home to Scranton where there’d clearly be fewer job opportunities.  My mother’s advice was to pray.  As I listened, I started wondering whether prayer and positive thinking were similar.  I mean, isn’t prayer, that surgery goes well, for example, or that a job comes though—isn’t that sort of a way of thinking positively about the situation?  Clearly positive thinking puts you in the driver’s seat while prayer does not, but fundamentally they seem more alike than different.  My mother assured me that plenty of people were praying for me that things would work out soon.  I joked of the old adage that when God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.  “Well,” I said, “if so, He needs to spray some windex on that window because I can’t see out.”  She didn’t laugh.

Mothers

Total Black: $38.60
Total Red: $227,972.40

Not much to write today.  I’m furiously typing to get in under the radar.  It’s nearly Monday as I write, which would mean a day without a post, if time did run out.  That can’t happen–not this early in the game.

So, before I even started my day, my mother called to tell me about an ad for temporary attorney work that a friend of hers spotted in the classified section of the Scranton newspaper.  I made some excuse to end the call.  Yes, it’s sweet and thoughtful and all that other fluff that we feed each other because we don’t want to offend the karma spirits or come across as ungrateful or disrespectful.  But my mother’s friends should not be looking through classified ads for jobs for me.  Has it gotten that bad?  Probably not.  I’d swear that my mother rents those flying banner ads that trail behind airplanes: “MY SON GOT LAID-OFF”  I don’t understand why everyone knows this.  Yes, I see the irony in that I’m pretty much putting up my own electronic flying banner through this blog.  But I’ve not shared my identity.  At least not yet anyway.

Just Your Average Joe?

So, at the outset, here are today’s stats:

Total black: $513.94 ($500 of which is sitting in a separate checking account for an un-cashed check)
Total red: $227,392.05

Black change: -$8.51 change
Red change: unknown

My bank provides software that shows your net worth, based, of course, on the accounts you link to it.  So, going forward, I’m just going to use that number each day to represent my total debt load.  I must note, however, that that number does not include approximately $8,000 my mother is carrying on a credit card I borrowed.  Add that into the number above and you get closer to the approximately $235k quoted yesterday.  Another point: the total red includes the $40,000 I borrowed from my mother, but since it came from a line of credit taken on her home, the monthly fees and charges added won’t be reflected.  Getting an exact number would require my mother giving me the account numbers, then setting up online banking profiles, and syncing my bank with those other sites.  I’ll broach the subject with her, but for now, we’re just going to use the number provided by my bank’s net worth software.  And, at this rate, what’s a couple thou’ difference anyway, eh?

As for today’s blog.  Well . . . morning has clearly past.  Breakfast and then a telephone call with someone who wasn’t looking for me (odd serendipity, or just plain weird, given that the voice mail came through the day after initiating this blog.  I’ll post more on that  at a later date if it materializes into something.  But why average Joe?  Am I an average Joe?  I suppose a bit of the back-story is need here.