Confessions of a Laid-off Lawyer

Just Your Average Joe Blogging Away His Debt—In One Year or Less

Hot Toxic Love

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Total Black: $277.67
Total Red: $230,715.35

Ushering at The Toxic Avenger Musical tonight got me thinking again about relationships and finances and whether it’s responsible to get involved with someone while in this financial state.  I touched on this a while back in A Time For Everything.  Well, once again I have a suitor seeking my hand.  The Adonis I spoke of in Jollification has been in touch and has expressed interest.  And I’ve expressed interest in getting to know the Drunk Texter I wrote of there as well.  Adonis and I are scheduled to get dinner on Sunday evening.  But while listening to the ballad from the Toxic Avenger Musical, Hot Toxic Love, during the show tonight, it got me thinking even more about affairs of the heart in general and how money affects them.

More than anything, finances make or break couples.  I know with each dollar less in my bank account I feel that much less of a man.  There’s no logical correlation there except that our society values money and accordingly respects those who have it.  When you feel valued, you feel valuable to others, to your community, to your family, to your spouse.  Without money, you feel worthless.  So therein lies my question: is it proper entering into a relationship when you’re not financially stable?  It’s another matter if you’re already in a relationship.  That brings other complications both must sort through.  But entering into a relationship when you don’t have money to spend on dinners out or movies or the other date-y things people do, might not be that wise.  Either you’ll end up wandering the streets a lot, staying home a lot, having the other person pay a lot, or using money you shouldn’t.  Dating in the 21st Century isn’t easy for people struggling to get by.

That all said, however: a romantic relationship with the right person can be just the shot of self-confidence and the exact dose of support that someone requires.  The love and attention of another has near-magical powers, it seems.  The most hideous troll can be transformed by love.  Isn’t that what Shrek was all about, after all?  I’m no troll but I’ve just not been open to it for far too long.  Since starting this blog, however, I’ve seen my social stature shoot up.  The first two men to ask me out in years occurred while pursuing this project.  Since beginning this blog, I’ve become more self-aware and more open to new adventures.  That’s attractive to some people.

This time around I’m not going to pass on the chance to get to know someone else a bit more intimately.  I don’t think anything will happen with Drunk Texter.  Any hot love I have for him is truly toxic because he dismisses it.  Instead, I will go on that date on Sunday with Adonis.  But I must be honest at some point and explain that my love may be a bit toxic too, in so far as it surely doesn’t come without constraints and concerns.  Hopefully he’ll see the real me and want to support me through this project ’cause I’m in no place to be light and gay with my money, spending like there’s no tomorrow.  Anyone reading this blog knows that I often have dry spells without cash that last a few days.  But I trust that with 2010 around the corner better things are on their way.

Written by Laid-off Lawyer

December 30, 2009 at 23:29

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